Soul Destroying
by Lil Drop Of Magic
Summary: Dan's heart burns more intensely with every word that Louis announces to the gathered masses. 5x13 Spoilers


Disclaimer: I do not own the Gossip Girl world.

A/N It's been done a few times already but the first line just came to me and I decided to see where it went.

Beware the spoilers, people!

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><p>There's something soul destroying about hearing the vows you've written for the woman you love read to her by another man.<p>

Dan's heart burns more intensely with every word that Louis announces to the gathered masses but the look of blissful radiance on Blair's face means that he cannot regret fulfilling Louis' request. The bride is obviously unaware that her groom was unable to translate his love into suitably eloquent and romantic sentences and had thus turned to the best writer he knew to complete the obligation. At first Dan had been appalled at the idea but he'd reasoned that if Blair did decide to have her royal wedding then he'd make sure to give her the vows she deserved. Composing those words had been both the easiest and hardest thing he'd ever done in his life…until _now_ that is, because watching Blair get married is tearing him apart.

"…and I love you." Louis finishes.

"I love you," Dan echoes quietly and the random Monacan groomsman next to him gives him a strange look. Dan doesn't really care if he's been overheard because it's over now; the rings have been exchanged, the promises have been made and the priest is now pronouncing them husband and wife.

This is the end.

Serena is all bubbles and excitement as he escorts her back down the aisle, gushing about how beautiful the ceremony was. He knows she's trying to fill the conversation for both of them because he's not really capable of speech right now. She talks about everything and everyone except for Blair and he's grateful for that.

They emerge from the church and as the flash of paparazzi cameras illuminate their surroundings he tries not to let his inner turmoil show – Blair would never forgive him for ruining her wedding photos with a morose expression. He laughs to himself and it sounds suitably bitter.

Mercifully, the reception seems to move very quickly and soon it's time for him to leave. His publishers have arranged a meeting in Chicago to discuss his next book. They had offered to move it to New York but a few days out of this city suited him just fine.

For a couple of minutes he contemplates announcing his departure to Blair. He hasn't congratulated the bride yet but he doesn't believe himself capable of doing so at the present so he decides to just leave. His family all know that he's leaving for the airport tonight but he hadn't seen the point of informing Blair – she'd had enough on her mind.

He hails a cab to take him to Brooklyn to pick up his case but time is running too short for him to change so he carries straight on to JFK. His thoughts stumble around in circles; should he have told her how he felt? No, she told him she wanted to marry Louis to save Chuck. But that pact with God was utterly ridiculous. Yes, but she didn't need anyone to dictate her life to her. But maybe she did? She'd told him she didn't know how to be happy anymore. Couldn't _he_ make her happy? So maybe he should have told her how he felt, at least given _them_ a chance. But now she is _married_, she's someone's _wife_.

He checks in, finds his departure gate and slumps in a chair, feeling thoroughly sorry for himself. But he knows and vows that once the wheels leave the runway he isn't going to let these feelings dominate his life. This is it. The end, the end, the _absolute and definitive_ _end_ of this phase of his life.

His flight is called and he gets to his feet to board and he thinks he's dreaming.

Because there she is.

Still in her wedding dress, her hair slightly less than perfect, her chest rising and falling.

He tilts his head to the side and his eyes widen because he just cannot comprehend her being here.

One of her hands moves to her chest and he notices that she's clutching some paper tightly in her fist.

"Blair, what are you doing here?" he asks, rushing forward to give her his jacket because she must be freezing. And now that he's closer he recognises the handwriting on that paper and his scorched heart freezes.

Her eyes are on his face; he can feel them but he can't make himself meet them.

"You should get back to your husband," he says softly, leaving his jacket on her shoulders. He turns away so that he can join the queue to board the plane but her hand on his chest stops him.

"Blair, plea –"

"Humphrey, don't speak, just… let me feel." She commands softly and he swallows a flood of words and emotions as he finally allows himself to look into her eyes.

She leans up slightly and presses her lips against his. His resolve cracks after precisely two seconds. _Let me feel_ she'd said. _Okay, feel this_, he thinks and kisses her the way he's dreamt of doing for nearly a year.

She rests her forehead against his and once again he doesn't know what to think. But then she's kissing him again and he can't help but hope, but feel, that maybe this is the beginning.

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><p>AN I _wish_ that would happen. I don't think we'll get a kiss for a few episodes but I do really think that Dair is going to be given a chance. Probably not a fair chance because I think the writers are trying to please everyone at the moment but a chance is better than nothing.

Now, I know that Penn has definitely been seen in his wedding gear at the airport but was Leighton in her dress? It seems a silly detail but I'd just like to know!

By the way, has anyone been having any Dair dreams lately or is it just me? It is always SO disappointing when I wake up!

Anyway, thanks for reading. Fingers crossed we don't get too disappointed over the next few weeks!

Lots of love,

Lil Drop of Magic

xXxXx


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